If you are a new parents or if you are waiting for your little bundle of joy then there are some facts that are handy to know, stuff that people fail to mention to you because it’s not fun or its not pretty – or its just boring and no one really cares to talk about it *eyeroll*
I love being a mummy so so much and you literally learn something new every day. It takes time to understand your baby and what they like or don’t like, and to recognise what they want by their different cries or when they are just being plain fussy little monsters.
Here are some little notes that i have made which were true for me. Please note you could be experiencing it completly different as no pregnancy/birth/life is the same.
1.Pregnancy is long and messy. Not surprisingly, making a human inside of another human takes a huge toll on the body. Things start to hurt, you can barely breath, it takes a huge amount of effort just to turn over or get out of bed! Things happen to your body that you never thought would. If anyone looked at my Google search history over the past 8 months, they would think I was the most disgusting human ever. By the end of this very long wait, you cannot wait for it to be over. Be prepared to be uncomfortable, sick, and cranky. Partners, be prepared to be more supportive (and thick skinned) than you’ve ever been before.. oh yes pregnancy hormones are a massive bitch.
2. Giving birth can also be long and messy. Or in my case quick and messy! You can read about my birth story by clicking here .The good new is, a lot of that is quickly forgotten once baby arrives (who will also be messy and gross looking).
3. Guess what else is messy.. Newborns! When babies are born they are covered in blood, guey stuff and just look like a squirmy litle alien waving its limbs all around whilst screaming its head off and your handed over this little bundle whilst muttering ‘hes beautiful’
You will be shocked at how much one tiny human can poop so much. You will get a stomach of steel and become a superhuman at changing those explosive nappies in one minute flat, in the back of the car whilst juggling five other items. It doesn’t just stop at that, there is sick, snot, spit and you name it. If theres a hole then theres some gross stuff coming out of it at any given time (mostly once youve finally sat down with a cuppa). But you dont care because its your baby and you want them to happy and comfy.
4. Get ready to realise that everyone else is an expert about your baby and you are the idiot. on every.single.topic. weather it be feeding,sleeping,carrying then there is always someone who thinks they know how your baby likes or it how it should be done. Even those people who don’t even have children or know shit about parenting. Just brush of the comments and nod along because its not worth the dispute. Remember that no one knows your baby better than you.
5. It’s okay not to feel that bond straight away. Of course i felt things for my baby but it wasn’t that instant bond and intense love that people make out the second your baby is placed on you (it will be like this for a lot of people obviously). It took me a good couple of weeks to feel like that and there is nothing wrong with it. I love my baby more than anyone or anything on this earth and you actually understand the meaning of when people say they would die for somebody else.
6. You will worry about anything and everything. The Worry is possibly the hardest and least relenting battle on the quest. The Worry got me in the early days, and still continues to reappear along the way.
‘oh my god what is that noise hes making is it normal?!’
‘why is he sneezing so much?’
‘is it possible for someone to hiccup this much – does it mean theres somthing wrong with him?’
‘IS HE ALIVE?!’
You will probably think your baby is literally dying at least once a week in those early months. After becoming a parent your mind is filled with nothing but worry and this is one of those things that there is no fix for. They become your top priority.always.
7. Your relationship will change.You’re both much more tired, worried, and overwhelmed than you’ve ever been before. You realize how much better sleep is than anything else (use your imagination) and you’re no longer each other’s top priority. You’ll both start disagreeing more (please remember that with parenting there is often more than one correct way to do something), You might even get jealous your partner goes to work where they can ‘rest’, while you have to stay at home doing a much harder job. Of course thats another thing partners see diferently so i wont even go into that big fuel for the fire. But after all of those tricky bits, you become so much stronger because you share this intense love for someone else and your love for eachother just gets bigger and better as you share all of these new memories and really appreciate that time you have just the two of you. We are so much better than before and seeing Elliot as a good dad is the most attractve and loving quality you could ever ask for.
8.You will change a lot. Your sleep habits are forced to change, your lifestyle is forced to change, your finances are forced to change, and you as a person will change too. Expect to become different. Boring, safe, sensible, tired, soft and lame…and what’s even worse is, you’ll love it. You will become way more empathetic. I cried at an advert about dogs the other day.. let that one sink in. But you will still be you! Make time for yourself and things you love to do.
BUT ITS ALL SO VERY WORTH IT! to be honest non of that stuff really matters. The smile on your baby’s face when they first recognize you. The laughter and pure joy they get from rolling around on the floor with you. The wonder in their eyes as you do your silly faces. Creating and shaping a human life. THAT is the shit that really matters. You will conquer challenges that you never thought you could do. You will overcome the hardest of nights and pull yourself out of that breakdown like a boss. Even though you might lose your shit along the way, you have your sidekick to go through it all with. It’s really scary and not for everyone but it is the most important job in the world and the rewards are a million times better than the negatives.
Love Cyah xxx